I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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