our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
