Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
