Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
well, you know. whores of a feather.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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