Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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