A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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