ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
