im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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