I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
