So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
