never play flip cup with pint glasses
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
