his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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