So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
