Me too!
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
