yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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