It's Friday. Sex?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
