On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
