My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
