I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
