The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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