Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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