4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
