I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
