Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
