She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
