Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
