I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
