Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
