He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
