are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
