I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
