pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
