Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
