i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
