would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
