We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Randomize
