OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Randomize
