i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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