Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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