I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
