you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
