Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
im holly from the hills drunk
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
