So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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