ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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