porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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