I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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