i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
