The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
