That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
