Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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