So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
