Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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